{30 to 30} Give Up On The Search For a BFF

On my 29th birthday, I posted that I am going to blog about 30 things to do before I turn 30. And because of my old soul wisdom, I decided not to make an actual list of things to do, accompanied with a Pinterest-worthy, Photoshop-created picture that surely would have brought thousands of hits to my blog.

No. 15 – Go to Paris and wear a beret! Mais Oui!

Mostly because I don’t have Photoshop (or didn’t you get that from the dinosaur graphic above & my main banner?)

Also because I believe it’s silly to make a list of things to do, realize after number 3 that you’re never going to reach number 26, realize after number 12 that no one else in blogosphere cares, and realize after number 9 that you’re just filling space on your list.

So! I am making my list as I go. Like I said in my earlier post, wonderful things happen to me in weird and unexpected ways. So I’m just going to roll with it…

For my first installment in my {30 to 30}, I had a thought while I was alone in the house one afternoon. I am going to give up on trying to find a best friend.

“What a loner!” I can hear you think.

Well, yeah. And I like it that way.

Since middle school I have struggled to find a best friend in a girl form. I have gal pals who I’ve known since kindergarten, and I still consider us friends. We talk once a year.

I have had close friends who I spent all my time with, but those friendships have always fizzled out after a year or so. All of those friends and I keep in touch on Facebook when there’s a birthday, engagement, baby, etc.

And I have friends right now in my current city. I see them once a month for our cooking club. And that amount of time is perfectly fine with me.

I’ve tried to do the Carrie Bradshaw thing with some gals. In high school. In college. In my first career. The BFF thing just does not work for me… I really don’t like shopping with others.

Carrie – too selfish. Charlotte – too 1950s. Miranda – too forceful with the feminist ideology. Samantha – I just don’t like the way she talks. It’s like she’s always purring.

Since I was a kid, I’ve always known that I would love to be married. And now that I am, I am happier now than I can remember (kudos to me for having such insight in elementary school!) Having a best friend for a husband is more than I could ask for. So I am giving up the search for a Miranda. Man-Beast is my best companion.

And being my own best friend is the most meaningful friendship of all.

(This video is a little like the relationship Man-Beast and I have.)


About julieschicklit

My book blog is dedicated to finding books, stories & ideas that redefine women's literature to be something smarter & funnier. More RAWResome lit for ladies. I am remaining some-what anonymous because I have a day job. My Man-Beast and I are soon going to live abroad in China, so that's why I'm a reblog-aholic.


  1. I completely know where you’re coming from. I have a really hard time with the Sex And The City style of friendship, and yes, I tried it…a lot. Now, I have a few friends that I see on occasion, but for the most part, Hubs is my BFF and I am perfectly content with that. I am not particularly “girly”, and as such, have a hard time with late-night chat sessions and group shopping trips (I don’t even LIKE shopping).

    Are we weird? Please be weird with me.

  2. I am right there with ya! We are weird. But in a good way. An awesome way! There’s a group of ladies in my Zumba class who are all in their 30s and they are in their own clique. I chat it up with some of them sometimes (on an individual basis), but I also chat with everyone in the class. I think cliques, or groups, or whatever you want to call them, are kind of immature. Or just not my cup of tea at all.

  3. I’m so glad you posted this. I’ve just turned 22 and I always wondered if I was weird, because I did not have three best friends whom I could share everything with. Whenever I try planning “a big night out” with a few gal pals, one is always sick, and if this is not the case, then her hamster is sick. I have given up and decided that one best friend you can confide in, is so much more worth than a bunch of people you pretend to be friends with, just so you can say you have a lot of “friends”.

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  11. Hello old soul, I remember counting down the days to 30 because finally, when someone asked how old I was, I couldn’t be dismissed as being too young to know what I was talking about. Doing your list as you go, allows room to do the things you don’t even know you want to do yet. A lot of people would tell me that I should’ve known what I want to do by ‘now’ but If I had have written – “save up and fly to Europe” on my 30 by 30 list, I would probably never have been paid to sail all around the world, and get there by ship instead – (I certainly didn’t imagine that could happen ) and I met my be(a)st friend, on the way there too 🙂 – P.S There’s a reason why STC stopped at age 40 and is now doing a teen version.

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