{Guest Post} Meredith Schorr’s 6 Best Places to go Man-Hunting

Man-Beast and I met on a dating website, and, over the years, I am becoming more and more confident when I tell people how we met.

Especially today because it’s our three year anniversary. Love you, Man-Beast. (And thank you, SexyAssSingles.com, you heaven-send!)

But really, in today’s rapidly changing world, a gal has to do what a gal has to do if she’s ready to meet her Man-Beast. Author Meredith Schorr, whose novel A State of Jane has been making quite a presence on the Interwebs, drops by Julie’s Chick Lit to give all the single ladies their list of options when it comes to finding a sexy ass single of their own.

Author Meredith Schorr's A State of Jane is about one woman trying to find love ... in lots of amusing places

Author Meredith Schorr’s A State of Jane is about one woman trying to find love … in lots of amusing places

Jane Frank, the main character in my novel A State of Jane, has completed the one year dating hiatus she imposed after breaking up with her long-term boyfriend and is ready to fall in love again. Determined to meet the true love of her life before starting law school in a year, Jane is unwilling to leave it to chance and tries many ways to meet “the one.” Is she successful? You’ll have to read the book to find out, but in the meantime, I thought it would be fun to list many of the different avenues a single woman like Jane has these days to meet Mr. Right (or even Mr. Right-For-Now) (This list is not exhaustive.)

Click here to go to Goodreads

{Online Dating Sites}

I know many women who have met their husbands via an online dating site and although it is not for everyone, I definitely think it is worth trying. I would warn people just starting, however, that it typically takes more than one-three dates to meet “the one” and can often take months or even years. Therefore, I would encourage this option for people who see the fun in meeting new people, whether for drinks, dinner, etc., and are less concerned with whether each date develops into anything serious or even results in a second date. Because it can take a lot of time and effort to write a profile that stands out among millions of others, as well as patience to flip through the many profiles of the opposite sex, I also recommend online dating to women who have the time and the patience it takes to put their best foot forward. Another advantage of online dating is that because it is not a “set up,” you have the freedom to go out with only those people who interest you. There is no obligation to answer every email you receive nor is there any obligation to reach out to a certain number of people. A disadvantage of online dating is because you are forced to set up parameters when you create your profile, you could unintentionally miss out on some great matches, for example someone a few years older or younger than the age range you chose which might not have mattered if you had met and connected with the person in the offline world. Also, I recommend proceeding with cautious optimism because not everyone accurately reflects themselves on their profile and what you see is not necessarily what you get. In some cases, you might even expend significant energy on someone before you discover that he has absolutely no intention of taking the relationship offline. Finally, even when someone is exactly who he claims to be, online chemistry does not always transfer once you meet face-to-face. You can develop a strong online connection through emailing and talking on the phone only to realize there is absolutely no spark in person.

Watch out for this one and his typos. Photo from MemeGenerator.net

{Speed Dating}

From Dictionary.com: Speed Dating is an organized social event in which participants have one-on-one conversations typically limited to less than ten minutes, for the purpose of meeting people they would like to date. Speed dating is a good option for people who do not have the time or patience it takes to engage in online dating as there is no advance preparation required (aside from choosing a flattering outfit to wear for the event). It is also a good choice for people who tend to know within three minutes that they are not interested in someone and have no desire to sit through an hour date. The cost is typically less than $40 and since the event usually lasts no more than two hours, any discomfort experienced should be short-lived. Speed dating is not, however, ideal for people who have difficulty jumping right into a conversation and need some warming up because there is not much time for that. The mini “dates” typically range from two to eight minutes in duration. But the good news is that when and if a real first date is planned, you already know what the person truly looks like. Besides the standard speed dating events, there are also specialized events for tall people, short people, people of different ethnic backgrounds, older women/younger men, older men/younger women and many, many more. Basically there is something for everyone. Finally, speed dating can be really good practice for making conversation with strangers!

Photo from CatchMatchMaking.com

{Eight at Eight Dinner Clubs}

From the official website: Eight at Eight Dinner Club is a dinner club dating service that selects a compatible mix of single people matched by age, interests, and background. Although Eight at Eight is currently only established in New York, Atlanta, Chicago and D.C., there might be similar clubs in other cities. Membership in Eight at Eight comes with three to six organized dinners attended by four women and four men. (The price varies depending upon how many dinners are in your plan.) I recommend this option for people who are serious about meeting someone and have the funds necessary to join the club. One advantage of this option is that you meet four men/women at once instead of the standard one which quadruples your chances of making a connection. Since there are eight people at the dinner table, it is also reduces the pressure on each individual person to keep up the momentum of the conversation. Like speed dating, there is no advance preparation required, which is good for those people who have demanding jobs or outside interests which make spending time communicating online undesirable. The club also guarantees that you will not be placed with the same member of the opposite sex at more than one dinner. Finally, it is a good excuse to try new restaurants – at the very best, you meet someone special, but at the very least, you will probably have a good meal. Disadvantages to this dating option include a) it’s pricey b) although the staff makes every effort to populate the tables based on similar interests and age preferences, the members themselves have no say in who else is placed at their table and it really is a crap shoot, c) membership is limited because not everyone can afford it and even those who have the funds might not want to invest them in this manner.

Photo from SingleInATL.com

{Organized Singles Events}

Although my experience is limited to New York City, I assume almost all cities have groups devoted to bringing singles together for various events like wine tastings, happy hours, cooking classes, etc. An advantage to these events is that you can be pretty certain that everyone attending a singles’ event is single, unlike when you frequent a bar on a random night. I would suggest choosing events that revolve around an activity that interests you so that you can enjoy yourself even if you don’t end up meeting someone. Another word of caution: In my experience, these events are usually attended by a much higher proportion of women than men.

Embracing their inner Swedish Chef. Photo from Blog.Match.com

{Matchmakers}

Hiring a matchmaker is a very personalized way to date and a great way to increase your chances of meeting someone who meets the criteria you are seeking. It could be a good option for someone who has an extremely busy schedule that makes it difficult to do the leg work towards meeting someone in other ways, for example, by online dating. It might also be a good option for someone who is extremely serious about settling down and is tired of dating for the sake of dating. Another advantage to working with a matchmaker is that your matches will also likely be very serious about settling down. This limits your chances of falling for someone who is not on the same page. A disadvantage to matchmaking is that it is probably extremely costly and the pool of men available to you is only as large as your matchmaker’s client list.

Doing the leg work for you. Photo from RealityRedone.com

{None of the Above}

Going to singles’ events, online dating, and engaging in the other activities above does not guarantee that you will meet “the one.” Many people meet their significant other through the regular course of living. For all of the women I know who have met someone via online dating, I know just as many who met her significant other at work, at a bar/coffee shop, through friends etc., simply by being at the right place at the right time and being open to it. My strongest recommendation is to do what makes you happy because while the significant other might be the destination, the journey is just as important and so you might as well enjoy it. Forcing yourself to engage in activities that you do not enjoy is unlikely to make you happy and I truly believe that inner happiness is the key to meeting the person who turns that happiness into bliss.

– Meredith

Get to know author Meredith Schorr on her website and buy her book, A State of Jane, on Amazon for $2.99 for the Kindle edition.

{Where’s your favorite place to go Man-Hunting? What places would you recommend NOT picking up someone?}

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About julieschicklit

My book blog is dedicated to finding books, stories & ideas that redefine women's literature to be something smarter & funnier. More RAWResome lit for ladies. I am remaining some-what anonymous because I have a day job. My Man-Beast and I are soon going to live abroad in China, so that's why I'm a reblog-aholic.

10 comments

  1. Thanks so much for having me on your blog – I had fun writing this post 🙂

  2. What a fantastic and fun post! And I love what you said, Meredith, about inner happiness being the key to bliss.

    Samantha Stroh Bailey

  3. What a fantastic and fun post! I love what you said, Meredith, about inner happiness being the key to bliss.

    Samantha Stroh Bailey

  4. What an interesting piece, Meredith! I love the dinner club idea. If I were younger and richer, I would totally do that. I wonder how one becomes a professional matchmaker? I think I’d be good at that job. 🙂 I have a sick fascination with watching Patti Stanger’s show because it’s so trainwreck-y. I hope that in reality matchmakers have a much better success rate!

  5. I met my wife through an on-line dating service. I have no regrets. I actually enjoy the witness protection program.

  6. Great advice Meredith. Dating in NYC is so hard and can be so draining, so these are great suggestions.

  7. Pingback: To my single sisters –

  8. Great post! I think I’m with Tracie. That 8 at 8 sounds so intriguing! I’m about 11 years too late, but if I was single these days, that’s something I would try. I “met” my husband on a Long Island Railroad train platform. I put the “met” in quotes because we actually grew up in the same town, attended the same high school, graduated the same year, and have tons of mutual friends. For some reason, though, he and I never talked in high school. I had a mad crush on his best friend, he had a mad crush on mine; at our wedding, those two were the matron of honor and best man. Go figure. Dating in NYC was brutal, but at least it gave me lots of material for writing…. Which makes me think…. That 8 at 8 feels like a great premise for a story…. Hmmmm.

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