I Mustache You A Question Award!

My amazing friend Arden over at This Typing Makes Me Look Busy is so smart and clever that she’s made up her own award, and, to be honest, it’s the best fucking award out there in the blogosphere.

No, I’m not just saying that because I’m one of two who are the first ones to receive the award.

I’m saying it because there’s a freaking mustache on the badge! Look!moustache award

{Rules of receiving the award}

1. Add the awesome badge to your blog — you deserve it!
2. Thank the person who nominated you, of course!
3. Answer your nominator’s question — It can be a few sentences or a whole post. Who cares?!
4. Nominate two bloggers for the award to keep it going; and
5. Ask the new winners your burning question!

{Rules for nominations}

1. There is only 1 rule — When you are awarded this, think of your two favorite blogs at that moment in time. There are your winners! Show your faves some love today. They may need some extra support on that particular day, so go ahead, put a mustachey smile on their face.
2. I lied. There are two rules. You can’t award the mustache award to whoever nominated you. It would just end up being a never-ending cycle.

{Mustache question}

Is there something you’ve been holding back from someone that you just want to scream in their face but can’t (or won’t)?  It can be a friend, a coworker, a spouse or boyfriend, a relative.  Why haven’t you told them?

{Answer}

Wowzers, this is a really good question. I’ve rewritten my response three times … because … there are situations in which you can’t say exactly what you’re feeing.

In the evolution of my feminist thinking, I used to think women who said whatever was on their minds were awesome. I wanted to be like them. But I knew I wasn’t. And I never have been. I tried to change that in myself, but people always called me out when they knew I wasn’t acting like my true self.

And now, I don’t idolize women who shoot from the hip because now I understand that words hurt. And I’m just not in the business of saying mean things to people with the intention of hurting their feelings.

Nowadays, I idolize women who are smart with their words. Men, too, I guess. Any person whose smart with their words. Any person who knows when it’s appropriate to put someone in their place. Who knows how to maturely and reasonably put someone in their place. Who know how to edit themselves.

And I hope that’s how some people see me. I try my best to be smart with my words, because my words mean a lot to me. So, have there been times I wanted to scream in someone face but didn’t? Absolutely! But I no longer think that’s a smart thing to do.

But! This Mustache Award wouldn’t be any fun if I didn’t reveal some of the things I WISHED I could have said throughout the years. So here they are, without any context so that the three people who know who is behind Julie Chicklitasaurus don’t know when I’m talking about them or someone they know! And for everyone, whether you know my identity or not, feel totally free to judge.

(Super helpful tip to new bloggers: stay completely anonymous. Completely. Anon. Ymous. Not even your partner or your mom.)

Things I Wish I Had Said:

  • Do you want half of my burrito, because I see you starring at it.
  • You’re judging how much I eat, aren’t you?
  • Your wedding was just as self-centered and boring as the other 29 weddings I’ve been to in my life
  • Your wedding wasn’t even open bar, so I don’t know what you were thinking?
  • Your baby has a giant nose!
  • You may be 17 years old and have a lot left to learn, but you’re a real cunt.
  • I kinda hope your marriage doesn’t last just because you had your wedding on my birthday.
  • Your book was so horribly written that I didn’t even get past 14% of it.
  • I don’t care about your years as a cheerleader in college. In fact, I judge you for it.
  • You’re going to make a really shitty teacher.
  • Stop talking about your breast milk while I’m trying to eat lunch.
  • You’re a really big racist. And I mean that in the sense that you’re fat and you’re a racist.
  • Fatty.
  • You talk about yourself a lot.
  • I can kinda tolerate you, so I’m just going to call you up when I need someone to come with me to get a beer.
  • You look stupid walking in heels.
  • I would have liked brothers.

Ah! OK! I feel better now that I got all of those things out of my brain and into the blogosphere! Life can go on …

{Nominations}

Uno. Melanie Jo Moore.

Dos. Girls in Capes.

{Question}

I cannot possible come up with as good of a question as Arden, but here’s my best shot. Melanie and Capes Girls, I Googled this question. What’s the last dream you remember having?

Dear God. That was a stupid question. Damn you Google and your super cheesy questions to ask friends! Feel free to answer that one or the one Arden asked me. Love ya, gals.

{Thank you}

Love you, Arden. Like my friend Bette Midler would say, you are the wind beneath my wings, homegirl.

Fuck yeah!

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About julieschicklit

My book blog is dedicated to finding books, stories & ideas that redefine women's literature to be something smarter & funnier. More RAWResome lit for ladies. I am remaining some-what anonymous because I have a day job. My Man-Beast and I are soon going to live abroad in China, so that's why I'm a reblog-aholic.

13 comments

  1. ardenrr

    This. Was. Awesome.

    I kind of wish I’d stayed anonymous but I really didn’t expect anything to come out of my blog. To be honest, I figured my friend Alicia (the other winner of this awesome award) would be my only follower). What do you know?!

    Maybe I can go back and edit everything so only a few know my identity. I’ll just put a giant mustache under the giant glasses for my picture … that’ll work.

    Congrats again 🙂 You deserve it! Stay. Awesome.

    Man, I sure do say awesome a lot…..

  2. Congrats for the award! Loved the comment about self-indulgent weddings. As far as anonymity goes, I managed fine until people I know included my name on their comments and i didn’t dare to edit them incase they thought I was a control freak 🙂

  3. HA! I love that you have some snarky wedding commentary. A year and a half ago, one of my good friends got engaged. He never said anything to his closest friends (me included). Unfortunately, the way we found out is that he updated his facebook status to engaged. Super unfortunately, when this status update went live a handful of us were at the bar, drinking, and full of opinions.

    Isn’t it neat how technology allows you to comment on facebook post from the bar? You don’t even have to be at home?

    There were over a dozen, ‘congrats!’, ‘that’s wonderful!’, blah, blah, all rounded up with my comment.

    “You do know that 75% of marriages end in divorce within the first 3 years, right?”

    • AHHAHAHhahah! The other half of that stat is … “especially marriages that are officially announced on the same website that I use to tell people about how my grilled cheese was for dinner!” Ah. Weddings and marriages. Definitely not my favorite part of adulthood.

      Posting on Facebook from the bar? Now THAT’S my favorite part of adulthood! xo

  4. Pingback: I MUSTACHE YOU A QUESTION | melaniejomoore

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