{30 to 30} Accept Rejection Gracefully

Man-Beast and I are not moving to Taiwan. There was a miscommunication with some paperwork. Lots of technicalities. Lots of hurt feelings. So it’s a no go.

We haven’t told everyone in our lives yet, but for the ones we have (and the ones we’re going to) I have heard/am going to hear a lot of the phrase, “It all happens for a reason.”

What do you mean, you no go to Taiwan?

What do you mean, you no go to Taiwan?

And the non-religous person in me just doesn’t believe in that sentence. It doesn’t comfort me.

While our situation certainly sucks ass (we have sold our cars, we gave notice to our apartment for the end of June, we gave notice to our jobs, I sold my cute mixing bowls that my mom gave me) it’s not the worst thing in the world.

Man-Beast has a family he works with, middle-age parents with four kids in high school and middle school. The dad was diagnosed brain cancer last year. He is not expected to make it much longer. The dad just saw his oldest son graduate from high school, and that was a tremendous achievement in a lot of different ways. But now that son is moving to a different state to go to college. All the while, his dad will probably die while he’s away.

And I never hear the kids complain.

I never hear them use their dad’s terminal illness as an excuse.

I have never seen them falter.

(Which may be bad, hopefully they don’t falter all at once in some big dramatic way.)

But I think it’s because they have religion to comfort them that they don’t fall apart. And I’m glad they have religion, because it works for them.

It just doesn’t work for me, and that is OK. To each their own.

Trying to pick myself up from this huge disappointment of not moving to Asia and seeing the world (and, let’s face it, eating all the noodles that are legally allowed) has been challenging. I mean, I was saving all of my {30 to 30} posts until I got there! I was planning on stinky tofu. Monkeys. Scooters. Mandarin. Lots of things.

And these are all for me, yes?

And these are all for me, yes?

I’ve got some making up to do on my {30 to 30} list.

But instead of thinking, “Things happen for a reason,” I prefer to think that there is a lesson to learn from every experience. And if I can find that lesson, then I will feel some positivity from that bad situation.

Some better job may come up tomorrow. We may have a baby in the next year (nudge, nudge, elbow, elbow.) Or something else may happen that is spectacular and I can’t even think of it now because I don’t know what’s going to happen (I also left my crystal ball at the bar last Saturday night. It’s great for free drinks. I swear. Try it sometime. You get them at Spencer’s.)

But this is why I did not assign myself a prescribed list of things to do before I turn 30. Because you never know what wonderful or disappointing things will happen. You don’t know. And you don’t know because no one is sitting behind a big curtain writing our story.

We each write our own story.

So for my next installment of my {30 to 30} series, I’d like to add …

Accept rejection gracefully.

I’m going to keep smiling. Keep shining. And whatever else are the rest of the lyrics to that song. And I’m going to keep on staying positive, not because I know “this happened for a reason,” but because I know I have the power to make something good happen for myself, even in a seemingly awful situation.

I know I’ll be OK because I’m going to make it happen for myself.

Keep smiling, muchacho!

Keep smiling, muchacho!

I know I’m going to be OK.

*   *   *   *   *

Here’s what we have so far in my journey of {30 to 30}

1. What to do in the next year

2. Give up on the search for a BFF

3. Host Christmas

4. Have a white Christmas

5. Be nicer to my niece

6. Tell someone to eff off

7. Job search around the world

8. Complete the Goodall challenge

9. Solve America’s gun problem!

10. Solve America’s bathroom problem!

11. Move to a different country!

12. Get horrible picture taken with Jane Goodall

Advertisements

About julieschicklit

My book blog is dedicated to finding books, stories & ideas that redefine women's literature to be something smarter & funnier. More RAWResome lit for ladies. I am remaining some-what anonymous because I have a day job. My Man-Beast and I are soon going to live abroad in China, so that's why I'm a reblog-aholic.

31 comments

  1. This was very gracefully done.

  2. ardenrr

    I’m so sorry it didn’t work out and won’t tell you that phrase even though it was the first thing that popped in my head (I’m not a fan of the phrase either but I feel it’s what people say when they have no frickin’ clue what to say).

    So what I will say is this: While I would be disappointed about not seeing monkeys all the time, scooters are dangerous and Mandarin is hard. Who has time to learn Mandarin? Sheesh!

    Jokes aside, let me tell you one thing. OF COURSE YOU’RE GOING TO BE OK! Just reading this post shows you’re already on the path to OK. It sucks! But it happened and you’re working through it. Just keep being RAWRsome. It didn’t happen this time but it doesn’t mean it’ll never happen, right?

  3. Oh no! No Taiwan?!

    Well get off WordPress and go work on that baby then! That should cheer you up… 😉

  4. It all happens for a reason, and there’s a lesson to be learned here, or you’ll be grateful for this some day in the future… are the same things really. It just means crappy things happen, but through it all we can still be awesome. 🙂 I hope it all works out for the best, as soon as humanly possible. *hugs*

  5. Sad news, Julie. I’m sure you’re disappointed, as well as a wee bit relieved. But you are the queen of graceful acceptances with this post. And that’s the best way to start your recovery.

    Big hug

  6. booksboozeandbitchin

    Well…that sucks. That really really sucks. And I think you’re taking this remarkably well (because if it were me I’d probably throw things, slip into a deep depression and drink until I passed out!). I think you should go back to that bar, get your crystal ball and drink until you think you’re in Taiwan! Sounds like you’re already on the road to recovery which is super impressive so keep your chin up, drink a bottle of wine and remember that “everything happens for a reason”!

  7. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear this! I can imagine how disappointed you must be. I’ve never found much comfort in “things happen for a reason” either.

  8. Julie– You’re the bomb-diggity! Great things will happen for you because you do have the power to make them happen! 🙂 And from me to you— I’m sending some naughty vibes your way on that baby making train! 🙂

    Penny

  9. Oh, man, I can relate to this. Every time I hear “everything happens for a reason,” the snide monkey inside of me wants to reply with snark and rolled eyes.

  10. I am not a “It happens for a reason” person either. Sorry to hear about this, though. 😦

  11. That really, really blows and I’m totally feeling for you right now! I hope that something awesome and amazing and sunshine-y comes along and happens for you to make up for it, or like you said, that you make something to that effect happen for yourself 🙂 It’s great that you’re staying so positive!

    I think some comfort noodles are in order, even if they’re not delicious real Asian ones. Mmmmmm carbs 🙂

  12. My first (attempt) to move to Israel got cancelled when I chose college in the US — a special program I didn’t think would accept me. I’d thought I’d go to college in Israel, study nursing. I was 16, just out of high school. 12 years later, I did move to Israel — with my 9-year old son. No nursing. Had gotten into a big deal special Master’s program in administrative nursing a couple of years earlier. I wanted to run free clinics for people without insurance — a bit ahead of the times. But my first husband got cancer at age 34. Decided I needed an income, not more education. Went to work as a writer. Stayed a writer the rest of my working life. I wonder how various entwined lives would have turned out if I’d gone in 1963. My son would not exist — or my granddaughter. I’d never have met Garry.

    We land where we should be. We are supposed to do a certain something. Destiny trumps choice. Bet the cats aren’t worried! Trust the cats. THEY know.

  13. I don’t know about “it happens for a reason.” I do know we don’t drive the bus of destiny. We’re passengers. Man plans, God laughs. Sometimes I hear distant gaffaws in my sleep. I should add that “it all happens for a reason” doesn’t include the word “good.” I’ve often landed exactly where I didn’t want to be. The older I get, the more apparent it becomes: Control is an illusion. Life doesn’t go according to plan. Call it whatever you want. The result is the same. Shit happens. That’s life.

  14. Now I feel like I totally jinxed your ass when I said, ‘cheers on the journey!’ *Shoots self in foot* I seriously just yelled to the beau, ‘Julie isn’t going to Taiwan!’ I’m sure he wonders how healthy it is to be so emotionally attached to someone I’ve never met.

    I have to tell you where my mind first went to… Will your kitty get to come home now?

    I tell you what song makes me feel better in every situation… maybe because it’s about happiness, maybe it’s because it embarrasses me to reflect upon music of my growing up.

  15. Excellent song choice. No judgement here! And tell the the beau-ster I said what up. We’ll all meet and have too many margaritas someday. Thanks for the love and encouragement. Much appreciated. Giving you lots of blog hugs … blugs? xo

  16. I’m so behind on life ~ Just catching up on your blog after too long… Love this post but so sorry that you’re plans were derailed… So disappointing… I guess one thing I can say for sure is that if you do have a baby this year, being close to your friends/family will be a lifesaver more than once, believe me! No one wants to fly their mom to Taiwan every time they need a few nights of quality sleep. Just trying to help you see the silver lining 😉 Hang in there. xo

Leave a comment like a good litasaurus

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: